Mr Incredible Everything

Mr Incredible Everything repeated twice that he had visited the cyclone struck regions while he brushed off the question about whether Civil Defence might get some more funding - after people were left to die and Mike Bush had submitted a report with 72 recommendations in it about Civil Defence and their response to the Cyclone yesterday.

Mr Incredible Everything said it was up to Mark Mitchell to digest two reports and he needed to embrace them - first - cos Mr Incredible Everything could not be arsed reading them himself so he could not possibly give you a number.

It would be wrong anyway as we all know by now.

Yes Mr Incredible Everything had a non answer or a wrong answer for all questions as per usual as he sounded like Trump who repeats the binary "terrific" and "terrible" over all issues.

Mr Incredible Everything had brought forward "Family Boost" to combat the shocking austerity programme underway that harms the most vulnerable to pay for tax cuts for Landlords.

Fran O'Sullivan had bitten her fingernails to the bone and wrung her hands about Mr Incredible Everything - losing the 2026 election if he did not take his foot off the austerity pedal - but Mr Incredible Everything decided he could "pour some sugar" like Def Leppard on everyone.

Trouble was Mr Incredible Everything had promised before the election there would be 130,000 lower middle income families who would be eligible but now he confronted the reality that he had taken the liberty of bullshitting voters and only 100,000 families were eligible.

This explained why the policy now cost only $723 Million instead of $967 million because fewer people would get it.

Like most other cockups - this was because Mr Incredible Everything did not bother to get into the details - cos as a very elite CE - he preferred others to do that while he used words like "action" and "quantum" and "incredible" and "I visited the cyclone area" and "I can tell you people are doing it tough".

This vainglorious weakness of Mr Incredible Everything meant he had no bloody clue about the details of almost everything and wrongness flowed in a river as a result.

While Mr Incredible Everything was describing his ECE sugar hit as "fabulous policy" - Labour pointed out that all these families still had to pay the upfront costs for National's lemon sucking policy which meant they may have to go without food or juggle the power bill, as unfunded food banks gave out food where Neoliberalism had only more ideology and austerity to offer.

Let them eat that as Mr Incredible Everything pretends he is fixing the economy.

To be sure Mr Incredible Everything will soon hike up prescription fees and gone is that free transport, let alone that massive rates bill - road tolls - new EV RUCs - or a lovely rent increase - while families wait around for a refund from IRD who have to hire all sorts of new staff now - to deal with the bureaucratic administrative burden this shocking, poorly planned policy now saddles everyone with - like a big circular millstone around our necks.

"It's fantastic", said Mr Incredible Everything.

Mr Incredible Everything had no idea how long it may take a family to get a refund back from IRD, and no idea how many staff IRD now had to hire or what they would cost - but "it was all built in" said Mr Incredible Everything.

"IRD will action it and operationalise it", he said licking his lips.

Worse when asked how IRD would ensure that all those invoices are legitimate, Mr Incredible Everything - blew that off saying we've built the programme - which was code for "I am filling in the blank now", and "let's move along" and "Last question".

Yesterday Mr Incredible Everything directed questions away from ones he did not like at the weekly post cabinet press conference and for sure he did not like any of these types of detailed questions that highlighted his utter incompetence.

Mr Incredible Everything had a habit of not saying "I do not know" but instead blundering on as if he did know - and he said things like ECE providers are excited to pass on the savings to parents which had nothing to do with IRD and scamming the system.

Recent history shows ECE Providers will just raise their prices soon and swallow up the small gains for a few - and Mr Incredible Everything had done nothing to seek assurances or mechanisms to incentivise ECE providers to do anything but grab that cash with both hands.

As a four bullet point parent, Mr Incredible Everything knew the fours Cs ( something about a cop, a counsellor, a coach and a consultant ) from a self help book, but he had not considered that children should not be constantly disrupted as he sought the lowest cost in the market and competition between ECE Providers was just another free market theory from the Atlas Network.

This is why ordinary folk say Mr Incredible Everything is out of touch - like he's a missing person and it's all an act - there is no person inside that eggy shell which has somehow gained power cos people voted for change and Jessica said we had to get to know him, look at those energy levels.

Mr Incredible Everything apologised to Corin on Morning Report but he was unable to talk about even the paint on the wall as a matter of national security - but he also had no answers about the inflationary impacts of his tax cuts.

Interest rates will stay higher for longer because Mr Incredible Everything is taking the risk and stimulating demand with tax cuts at the worst possible time.

Westpac, the IMF, Goldman Sachs, Shamubeel Eaqub and former Reserve bank Governor Michael Reddell are all saying delay the tax cuts and these ECE sugar hits - but Mr Incredible Everything does not agree and is barrelling ahead regardless.

Mr Incredible Everything dangerously knows best and is prepared to ignore every expert and will not be lectured.

Yesterday the CTU highlighted further shortfalls in National's tax plan and estimated the total is about about $3.8 Billion overall - which is a huge amount to claw back from the poor to give to wealthy Landlords just so Mr Incredible Everything can say he delivered.

Naturally Nicola Willis avoided the CTU numbers and instead deflected to what the CTU should be thinking about in her opinion - which was just what we have all come to expect from these people who cannot answer questions or confront facts.

Mr Incredible Everything is incredibly excited about his incredible plan for Q2 so watch that incredible space in this incredible Corporate Nation.

Mr Incredible Everything will be back being incredible as he avoids answering questions in parliament this afternoon.

"I can tell you it's incredible and we have been working incredibly hard at incredible pace", said Mr Incredible Everything.

Which makes you wonder why he's losing popularity and is only getting 4.6 out 10 from the public after such an incredible start.

Mr Incredible Everything

Morena

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