Satire - FranOrella and the two ugly blisters - Chapter 1.

Once upon a time, FranOrella was sweeping cinders, when her two ugly blisters, Claire and Audrey rushed into the room and started pulling each other's hair, scratching and biting like cats on coke, fighting over catnip, as they screeched and tore at each other in a cloud of NZME back office smoke on the floor.

"Stop this fighting at once" said the evil step-editor Shayne Curry, "What the hell has gotten into you?"

"It's MY TURN!!!", yelled Claire.

"He doesn't want you", snapped Audrey, "He wants someone, more senior, it's how he rolls".

Turns out - his royal egg- Prince Luxon of DumbTown - was going on a jolly in a shitty airforce carriage but due to the carriage being bloody old and unreliable - only one of the blisters would get invited to ride alongside the rich man with seven houses who also had a title.

 "I wish I could go" said FranOrella, daydreaming out loud, it had been seven years since she had been a jolly, to Sweden with the Atlas Network, but now it seemed like a long forgotten memory.

"You? He's not into short haired snapping turtles?", shrieked Claire.

"You're not a come back kid like Goldy", said Audrey, "Stick to the mood of the bored room, sweeping the truth under a carpet, with your dumb statistics about opinions".

"That's enough girls", intervened Shayne, barely suppressing a grin, "Fix up the bored room FranOrella, while Claire and Audrey powder their neoliberal noses and we plot how best to suck up to his royal egg.".

"We know how", squealed Claire to Audrey, as they ran upstairs to the NZME Suck Up Meeting room.

Poor FranORella, totally farked over by Shayne and left to clean up all the dumb things those other two had broken while rolling around biting each other over this jolly.

FranORella wept a tear of pure opportunity cost.

"If only the chairman of the board was my fairy God Mother", said FranORella, grinding her not so silly little girl teeth in some dark swan energy as shadows loomed and time and space warped.

***BING***

"OMG it's FranORella's Fairy Godmother", said Barbara Chapman referring to herself all dressed up with wings and wearing a fairy suit.

"So you want to go to Singapore, Thailand and the Phillipines? Is that right FranORella?", said Barbara in her business voice.

"Oh Fairy Godmother, I'll write anything, absolutely anything for him, but...", her voice trailed off, and she trembled, her face crumpled into tears, "I don't have a first class ticket, and nobody invited me".

"My poor girl, dry your eyes", said Barbara and she waved her magic discretionary budget approval form already signed by the Egg Lord Luxon - and suddenly in a whirl of magical high profit stars and special ratings effects - a first class ticket appeared on the floor.

FranORella bent down and picked it up, "OMG a window seat next to Prince Luxon of DumbTown himself."

"Never mention I gave you that, or they'll think the Atlas Network bought you off", said Barbara, "Say you paid for your own ticket".

"I didn't come down with the last shower of rain", said FranORella, bouncing on her toes and holding the ticket between both hands.

"Quite", said Barbara, suppressing what she was really thinking.

"Mind you FranORella you've got to let Luxon have final cut before you publish a word", said Barbara the Fairy God Mother, "Or the Ticket will be audited and you will go the way of Simmonds and Lee".

"What is Simmonds and Lee?", said FranORella.

"It's in the future, forget I mentioned that, shit!", said Barbara who almost let the cat out of the bag there. "Just let him see the final copy and give his approval, or this shit is going all the way down."

So it was that FranORella swaggered and wriggled in her seat, on her way to the South East Asia, flying first class beside Prince Luxon of DumbTown - in a cost of living crisis, while people's jobs were cut and vital services stressed to the max, cos it was how the wonderful, strong, fast and powered up Prince Luxon of DumbTown leads and how he rolls.

Back home Claire stared like blue murder at Audrey.

"Don't worry girls", said the evil step editor Shayne, " I'm gonna find out how this happened, if it's the last thing I do".

"When do I get to go somewhere?" said a weird American voice.

"Shaddup Jason", barked Claire, Shayne and Audrey, as they marched out of the room with their noses in the air.

Satire - FranOrella and the two ugly blisters - Chapter 1.

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