Satire - FranOrella and the two ugly blisters - Chapter 3.

FranOrella shook her head and closed her eyes in frustration, after Prince Luxon of DumbTown had misspoken to media in Canberra ignoring her initial advice, and, it had taken a whole day for the Beehive to update his statement and replace his words with her words about peace and harmony.

NewsHub had attacked Prince Luxon, for how he was quick to condemn Iran, but when Israel attacked an Iranian embassy in Damascus, there was silence from DumbTown.

Clearly Prince Luxon of DumbTown was a bungling idiot, blindly banging into fark up after fark up, while she, and her evil step-editor Shayne, and ugly blisters Audrey and Claire cleaned up, thought FranOrella, looking out the window, in flight again and about to land in Singapore.

So many junks in the harbour.

Like this was a gateway between worlds.

Luckily dumbTown does not pay attention to Luxon's bungling but all was not well about AUKUS 2 and Prince Luxon was playing into the hands of those who might attack his eagerness for military relevance and getting things done on a scorecard at the expense of more prudent diplomacy.

Worse Helen Clark had made a big hit on Q&A making Prince Luxon look like a naive cowboy condemning one side but not the other.

Damned NewsHub for reporting the facts just cos they were going down the drain, thought FranOrella...last things she needed right now was Helen showing DumbTown her diplomatic credibility and calling for level heads and explaining that this was no surprise to Israel.

FranOrella seethed at this "former" making her job polishing this turd harder.

Why do formers interfere in the polishing of Prince Luxon when they should just keep their sticky beaks out of it, growled FranOrella to herself in righteous upper class Atlas Network fury.

FranOrella had only begun to recall the counterfactual that Sir John talked about a Hermit Kingdom to undermine Dame Jacinda when Prince Luxon of DumbTown returned to his seat, fizzing from the news that he was going to meet a social media influencer and score more likes on social media.

"Read that", said Prince Luxon, dumping a copy of Time Magazine on FranoRella's lap, "It's all about Taiwan, I learned everything I know from that article".

"I was thinking I will write something about formers interfering with your messaging", said FranOrella to Prince Luxon who licked his reptilian lips like he just swallowed a fly, but I don't know why?

"What I would say to you is clearly she is out of date, and with the greatest of respect I will not apologise or be lectured by Labour...", blurted the mouth of Mr incredible as ...FranOrella's eyes glossed over and she drifted away remembering the words of her Fairy Godmother, Barbara Chapman who said her ticket would be audited if she did not give this narcissist final cut.

The ancient airforce carriage landed in Singapore as some distance away PM Lee spoke with Deputy PM Lawrence Wong about last time this egg was in Singapore in the middle of Covid.

"Here he comes", said Lee standing beside Wong on the tarmac.

"Wearing a mask under his nose", said Wong.

"Or no mask", said Lee.

"Are you sure you want to do this?", said Wong

Lee looked at his deputy, who had nearly refused to shake this egg's hand last time.

"It will be over soon", said Lee. "I will let him inspect the guard, offer him a toast and say the same things we always say about our gratitude after the war".

"At least he bought a delegation with him, so it's not a total waste of time", said Wong standing beside Lee on the tarmac as the gangplank was secured and the plane doors unlocked.

Prince Luxon stepped out in Singapore like a beaming ball of "Big Bullshit Energy" waving in the same old suit - at the small state delegation below.

The Singaporeans bitterly swallowed their real feelings and smiled back like Prince Luxon of DumbTown was Jacinda or someone they respected...it was all about duty.

"He's going to hug and grab you", said Wong sideways to Lee as Luxon ran down the stairs, and bounded closer like an incoming bald Rocky with ants in his too tight pants.

FranOrella emerged in the sallow Singaporean sun and watched Prince Luxon extend his hand to Lee on the tarmac below.

Luxon's mit dangled for a millisecond in slow motion - while Lee secretly considered a Bruce Lee six inch death punch to restore balance after such disrespect, but instead Lee smiled broadly and said, "Welcome to Singapore, we meet again, but this time you are Prince Luxon of DumbTown and Prime Minister".

Prince Luxon of DumbTown hugged Lee's arm, fizzing and popping and spluttering like he was high on helium.

That's why they make spit guards I suppose.

So much grabbing, all of it fake, some of it alarming but the spitting and lip licking all the way through the word salad was more than most seriously respected people with a long proud diplomatic history can stand, even when diplomatic duty calls.

Nobody should have to put up with that.

"This is the deep relationship he hopes to deepen with more intensity for the betterment of both countries", thought FranOrella to herself, as she checked her cell messages and read what her evil former editor Shayne was saying.

"FranoRella, the stakes just got higher, Prince Luxon is taking a hammering in internal polling, Code Crimson River. TVNZ preparing a Verian poll when he gets home. Don't fark this up." - Shayne evil former editor.

"Code Crimson River", thought FranORella, that means somebody is going to sacrificed to make Luxon look strong...who could it be?

Like a flashback on TV, FranOrella suddenly recalled something Fairy Godmother Barbara Chapman had said about her going the way of Simonds and Lee....Simmonds and Lee?

*** BING ***

The Epiphany of it all, as FranOrella's face was filled with illumination and small birds tweeted all around her in a hallo effect.

OMG...was FranOrella the first to put two and two together about the secret Atlas Network plan to turbocharge Luxon's popularity by sacking Ministers on his return during a TVNZ Verian Poll?

"Come on pull yourself together FranOrella" said FranOrella catching herself joining dots in her imagination like a tin foil hat in Conspiracyville.

"You need better evidence" she said out loud, but could she be right Had she cracked the code?

"Am I the only one, right now among the media who knows what is about to unfold in the daily stovepiped instructions from above?", thought FranOrella in a kind of insight rapture.

Yet suddenly a custard pie of doubt landed in her face.

As per usual FranOrella lacked confidence in her intuition and doubts plagued her like a Rolodex full of wallflower dance cards.

"Journalists need to report facts not speculation but that's not what I do", mumbled FranOrella as she hurried to keep up with all the usual, painfully boring diplomatic rituals.

Prince Luxon headed like a sped up old film towards a state limousine and photographers snapped pictures for tabloid magazines.

"At least the photos would help make him look like he was relevant and inspecting the guard would dovetail with Anzac Day and the impression of him being a strong military leader," thought FranOrella - despite Prince Luxon being a massive wannabe show pony who had no military experience but showboats shamelessly like an attention whore.

"Stuff the formers, at least Prince Luxon of DumbTown's energy levels made him look like he was having fun" thought FranOrella as she hurried to get into the back seat of a modest state vehicle, and slammed the door shut, cos nobody closes the door for media.

"Hurry up, for goodness sake", said FranOrella, eager to catch up but still irritated with Shayne.

"I'll show you", seethed FranOrella, "I am not the fark up".

FranOrella imagined Audrey preparing bouquets for Prince Luxon in an NZME opinion flower shop back home.

"He's not into you", said FranOrella as her lip curled.

"He's made a very good debut so far" wrote FranOrella in her mind as she penned a few "suck up" words for her puff piece.

I'll show those two how to suck up, thought FranOrella.

"Formers should not interfere, and let the people who are up to date do the talking", thought FranOrella while the vehicle she was in - pulled away - and sped to catch up with the procession of state limousines ahead.

Satire - FranOrella and the two ugly blisters - Chapter 3.

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