Tales of Uffindell - The bed leg, the CatsBum and the wardrobe

CHAPTER 9 - Inside the flat at last

As you may recall from Chapter 8 - after some pressing persuasion by the razor sharp claws of Mr Louis the talking cat - Brad from the flat - begrudgingly led the company of G News travellers along back street alleys to the location of the filthy flat where Sam the Bed Leg Basher of Uffindell was thought to still be residing.

"Why don't you ever do the dishes Brad?" asked an organic punga as Brad peered around a corner to make sure the coast was clear.

"It's not fair on your flatmates Brad", said a flax bush, "I take a very dim view of that kind of lazy selfishness".

Brad was too stressed out to answer, instead he turned to the company and waved them on as he tip toed like a pimply Tweedle Dumb across the cobblestone street and ducked down low behind a hedgerow, his pulse racing with anxiety.

They were near the flat now and Brad pointed to a street sign above...

"The flat is number 37 StillTheSameBully Road" hissed Brad now clammy and pale as a limp cauliflower sweating in a pot of boiling water.

"What colour is the flat Brad?" whispered Chlöe the high elf from the Green Woods as it started to rain.

"Even the paint curled up and ran away", said Brad now frozen with fear of entering that street again. "Don't make me go any further, I can't go there again".

"Alright Brad, we'll let you go" said Chippy, brave Knight of the realm of Queen Jacinda.

"You have served your purpose, but if you breathe one word to anyone about this I'll drag you down that street myself. Do you understand?"

"I'll be watching you too", said Mr Louis raising a claw.

"Brad can keep a secret" warbled a majestical Tui before yelling "YEAH RIGHT" as Brad ran off, looking left and right in a pool of hyper vigilance.

So it was that Chippy, Chlöe, G from G news, Mr Louis the talking cat, a flax bush, an organic punga and a majestical tui silently walked down "StillTheSameBully Road" like gunslingers in an old Western movie as ELO played there's gonna be a showdown somewhere over the rooftops of Uffindell.

And it was raining all over the world as injustice here meant injustice everywhere.

The feet of the warriors of old led the way as the ancestors of the spirit of Aotearoa made these steps of courage in the spiritual rain of so many victims past.

The whole place was crying with sorrow.

Even the grass did not grow here, low frequency sounds killed life and silent truth wept invisibly from the cracks in the footpath while lampposts leaned away from the filthy flat such was the revulsion for the flat - of all things living and inanimate.

The feet of the G News company now stood still on the road.

There it was ...the flat in all it's disgusting filth.

The horror of it all.

Would G go through that door at the end of the path?

Chippy looked deeply at G from G News.

"We have come to journey's end. Now you must go on alone"

"Courage G from G News" said Chlöe.

 "Your quest now stands on a knife edge. Stray but a little and all will be lost to the forces of greed, short term gain and selfishness".

"It's better to be a lion for a day than a sheep all your life", said Mr Louis who was not afraid of anything in these nine lives.

"Let's chicken out now" warbled a majestical Tui before yelling "YEAH RIGHT" and breaking out a Tui haka so ferocious something swelled within all who heard it and the rain stopped as the warrior birds of old raised their voices across the forests.

The hands of G's fathers of old rested on his shoulders and he turned to Chippy and said,

"Thank you. I'll see you on the other side"

Chippy nodded as G from G news walked down the path and came to the door of no return, followed by his brave friends who were buggered if they would let him go inside alone...

"He's going the distance", said Chlöe to Chippy as they watched on from the road as Mr Louis applied his claw to the lock and G pushed open the bare wooden door.

A cold wind blew along the path as foul air rushed out of the flat along with leaves, sticks and stones and broken bones along with the terrible stench of filthy corrupt secrets but G from G News, Mr Louis the talking cat, the organic punga, the flax bush and the majestical Tui were undeterred and stepped through that door in slow motion....

"For Aotearoa", said a flax bush.

"For Jacinda", said an organic punga.

Would G from G news uncover the secret plot to overthrow Queen Jacinda?

The dark secrets of the selfish nobility lay somewhere inside this toxic flat in Uffindell where Sam the Bed Leg Basher was still thought to reside ...and now at last G News was getting close to the answers.

END OF CHAPTER 9 - Inside the flat at last

Tales of Uffindell - The bed leg, the CatsBum and the wardrobe

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